Moving your wedding date is not a task to be taken lightly.
On the one hand, it is your event; you can do what you like. But on the other, sometimes a couple’s reason for rescheduling isn’t solid enough, or it’s simply too close to the set date, to be justified.
Four years ago, my cousin called me to ask, “Do you think it’s okay if I move the wedding date?”
Her wedding was just two weeks away.
By this point, I’d been in several weddings and heavily involved with others. For this one, I was helping with wedding signs and invitations. So I vividly remember the couple’s agony over finalizing their wedding date when we mailed their invitations.
I also knew my cousin was going to call me with this exact question, one of these days.
“No,” I told her bluntly—though gently. “It’s just too close.”
I didn’t even ask what her reason was. I already knew it: she’d second-guessed every single one of her decisions about the wedding already. This, moving the wedding date at the last second, was just another item on that very long “what if” list.
We laugh about that phone call now: her baseless worrying and waffling over her decisions, the fact I had to remind her of the 30-odd guests flying cross-country to attend—and, most importantly, the fact she had no good reason to move the wedding in the first place.
That conversation got me thinking, though: what is a good reason to move your wedding?
11 Valid Reasons for Moving Your Wedding Date
1. You, your fiancé, a wedding party member, or someone dear to you is critically ill.
Without a doubt, this is the number one valid reason to move a wedding—no matter how close the date may be.
You can’t get married if you or your future spouse are too sick to stand. This applies to run-of-the-mill (but intense) illnesses, but also long-term and chronic conditions.
For other wedding party members, or immediate family, you might have to make the call on the fly.
Frankly, if I were a bridesmaid and caught the flu, I wouldn’t expect or want the bride and groom to reschedule.
But if a bridesmaid were to (God forbid) land in the hospital in critical care the week of, I might consider doing so. It’s not that you can’t get married without that person, but rather that you just don’t want to.
Timing may also play into your decision. It’s nearly impossible to reschedule a wedding the morning of. But a couple months away, to accommodate someone getting surgery? Nudging it to another weekend might be fine.
Additionally, you can consider changing that person’s role in your wedding.
Nowadays, no one will bat an eye if a groomsmen has to join the event via Zoom because he’s sick. A bridesmaid with a broken ankle can still “stand beside you”—seated comfortably in a chair by the altar.
Sometimes rescheduling isn’t an option, but redesigning is.
2. You or your fiancé will be deployed.
Active duty military members know all too well that life can change course in an instant.
If you or your fiancé have just received word that one of you will be deployed during the original wedding date, you should certainly reschedule.
Whether you move your wedding before or after the original date, or decide to forgo the whole thing in favor of elopement, people will understand—you don’t have a choice about moving it.
3. You’re pregnant.
We delayed our wedding by a year (though we hadn’t locked in a date yet) upon learning I was pregnant. Being young and not-yet-gainfully employed, we knew we couldn’t save for both a wedding and baby at the same time.
And, well…only one of those things was truly on a deadline!
Some people insisted we should elope or do a courthouse wedding, so our child wouldn’t be born out of wedlock. While I respected their beliefs, that decision didn’t feel right for us.
We knew we wanted a fun, fairly large (in guest count) ceremony and reception. Having a child didn’t need to change those plans. It just delayed them a bit.
Maybe you’re in the same boat. Delaying the wedding in that case is fine, assuming it’s still far enough away to change the date without affecting many people—or losing too many deposits with vendors.
If you’re newly pregnant and the wedding is pretty close, however, consider keeping the date where it is.
After all, most women don’t show for months (and there are some stunning maternity wedding dresses out there, if you do sport a bump earlier than expected).
You might even choose to announce your pregnancy during the wedding, if the timing is right, or sneak a few announcement photos into your bridal portraits.
4. A big project or promotion at work has stolen all your free time.
There’s a saying I’ve always liked: “If you can help it, never do two hard things at once.”
You’re in a busy season of transition already. Getting married is a big life milestone, after all—and planning a wedding quickly becomes a part-time job (if not full-time).
Although it’s exciting to enter a changing season at work, having it coincide with wedding planning can completely drain you.
Big projects or a promotion will eat up quite a bit of your free time and energy. If you leave the office late most nights, drained of energy and motivation, planning a wedding will be the last thing you feel like doing.
Assuming there’s enough time to reschedule the wedding, go for it. Once work settles down and you have more balance, you can tackle planning with renewed energy—and a far more flexible schedule.
5. You or your fiancé lost your job.
In the thick of wedding planning, the one element that gets revisited time and again (or should, anyway) is your budget.
Every decision hinges on it: how much you can save, and when.
Even if you’re using credit cards rather than cash-flowing your wedding, you’ve got to have a steady income to make sure those payments get made on time.
If one of you loses your job, however, that security evaporates.
Unless the wedding is so close you can float those last payments with relative ease, go ahead and move it. The wedding is not worth jeopardizing your four walls (shelters, food, utilities, and transportation) needed to survive.
Guests will understand. Besides—you or your fiancé will need some extra time to job hunt, anyway.
6. Some huge, unexpected bill just arrived.
We’re not talking about a fender bender or some fees tacked onto your cell phone plan, here—but rather, a supremely large bill that just smacked into you like a train.
Lawsuits, catastrophic house damage, exceptionally steep medical bills: thousands of dollars coming due, out of nowhere, that will require immediate attention. Not to mention, most or all of your wedding budget.
Giving yourselves a few extra months to get your finances back in shape is the best wedding gift there is.
7. The original date doesn’t work for a significant number of people.
Once, I received a Save the Date to a college friend’s wedding…to be held on Christmas Day.
It was quickly followed up with a new Save the Date, moving the wedding to the week before.
While I don’t know for sure, I suspect the bride received a massive amount of people pre-RSVPing “absolutely not.” Sure, the couple adored all things Christmas—but to hold the event on Christmas itself was a little much to ask of their guests.
This doesn’t just apply to big holidays, of course. Any wedding date can suffer this same fate of multiple “won’t be in attendance” replies. (Though holidays are far more likely.)
If the overwhelming response to your original date is “can’t make it,” consider moving your wedding to another day or weekend.
Alternatively, you can change the timeframe. While Christmas is still most likely a no-go (people have traditions that go all day, after all), some holidays don’t have those kind of restrictions.
On Valentine’s Day, for example, most people celebrate in the evening—so a brunch reception won’t interfere with but so many plans.
Regardless, be prepared for a lot of “no’s” in your RSVPs if you stick with a holiday wedding date.
8. You’ve changed your mind about having a “summer wedding” (or any season, really).
As long as your wedding is months away, rather than weeks or days, there’s nothing wrong with simply changing your mind about the date. This is especially true if you’re having misgivings about the original season you chose.
Maybe you realized a summer wedding will be far too hot for the outdoor ceremony you’ve planned.
Or, unbeknownst to you when you booked it, that destination wedding will fall right in the middle of typhoon season.
Changing your wedding to another season isn’t just about wanting another aesthetic. It can eliminate potential weather problems, as well as extreme heat or cold that would make your guests uncomfortable or affect their transportation.
9. After crunching the numbers, you realize time isn’t on your side to save enough for the wedding you want.
Again, this is based on the assumption your wedding is several months away.
It’s not “there’s only a month to go and we need five grand” (more on that in the next section, of not-great reasons to move your wedding date).
Let’s say you and your fiancé are sitting down with the wedding budget. You’ve done research and a lot of math, and come to the sobering conclusion that your wedding will cost $15k. But, in the current time allotted, you’ll only be able to save $12k.
Moving the wedding out by a few months, in this kind of situation, is perfectly fine. So is delaying it another year, if that’s what you know it’ll take to save up the budget you need.
If you’re wedded to the original date (pun totally intended), consider what you can cut from the budget to make the numbers work.
10. Several key elements—the venue, caterer, officiant—aren’t available.
Change is a part of life, and changed plans are a part of weddings.
We can’t get everything we want. You’ll have to give up more than a few “must-have” vendors or details to make your dream wedding work with reality.
But, if multiple “must-have” options aren’t available on your original wedding date, you’ll be left feeling like you’ve compromised your way into a wedding that isn’t really yours.
With enough notice for your guests, it’s acceptable to move the wedding date so you can reclaim at least some of those elements. Your dream venue is well worth the wait.
On the other hand, don’t be afraid to explore alternatives before you move the wedding. You might find similar options—in venues, catering companies, etc.—that you love just as much.
11. You’re only moving your wedding by a day or so.
While I wouldn’t do this too close to the original date if it can be helped (it still impacts people’s travel plans), bumping a wedding to a different day on the same weekend is definitely an option.
If someone’s ill, the original date won’t work (like a Friday evening when most people are off Saturday), or a big storm is predicted for the original day—that 24-hour difference can be a huge blessing.
Alert your guests as early as possible to the change, and still be prepared that a few won’t make it.
And make sure your vendors can make the switch, as well; many book multiple weddings per weekend, especially during spring and summer.
6 Situations Where Moving Your Wedding Date is a Bad Idea
Now that we’ve covered the valid reasons to move your wedding date, it’s wise to consider some situations where you shouldn’t reschedule.
Obviously, every couple and situation is unique. There can definitely be an exception or two out there to these “rules.”
But, in my experience (and I’ve been involved with a lot of weddings!), these 6 reasons are always bad ones for moving the wedding.
1. Your and your fiancé had a fight.
Petty squabbles, and even huge arguments, are a part of any relationship. And a big component of marriage is learning to navigate those tumultous waters together.
Don’t move or cancel your wedding on a whim, just because you’re mad. It’s never wise to make a long-term decision based on short-term feelings.
Of course, glaring exceptions to this rule are if the fight is about something serious.
Infidelity, abuse, or uncovered substance issues are all reasons not to move the wedding—but to instead postpone or cancel it altogether.
2. You’re doubting if you want to get married.
Some doubt is all too normal. Most brides wonder, at least once during their engagement, if they’re ready to get married and make that lifelong commitment to one person.
But there’s a tipping point.
If you’re constantly doubting your decision to say yes, or suddenly seeing red flags in the relationship you didn’t notice before—that’s not normal. It’s a sign your relationship either needs work, or you need to jump ship.
Again, this is a reason to postpone or cancel the wedding. Not to simply move it and hope the problems will magically resolve themselves.
If you do move it, rather than leaving the date open-ended, make sure you’ve got a solid game plan to address the issues before then. Counseling is a great place to start, if your fiancé is on board.
3. It’s down to the wire (i.e., the original date is super close).
Barring some of the exceptions noted earlier—like extreme weather events or illness—you should do everything you can to avoid moving your wedding when it’s too close to the original date.
“Too close” differs a little, however, depending on your situation and that of your guests.
If you have lots of guests flying in who’ve already purchased tickets and made lodging arrangements, you’ll be all but guaranteeing they can’t attend the wedding on the new date. Travel expenses add up.
With enough notice, however, they can usually rearrange their flights and lodging without losing money.
If, however, your guests are pretty much all local—a few weeks’ notice is acceptable.
Also, consider your venue and vendors. Some of them get booked months in advance, and can’t usually move services to a new wedding date without weeks or months to plan ahead.
4. You’re refusing to pivot and compromise.
It’s frustrating, or downright heartbreaking, when our carefully-laid wedding plans get a wrench thrown in.
But as they say, the show must go on.
Make sure you’re moving your wedding for the right reasons, and that other solutions aren’t available, before you change the date.
While changing a destination wedding so it falls outside of typhoon season is understandable, moving it the week of because the forecast calls for a little rain is not.
You need to get creative, and let go of your vision a little, to exhaust all other options before you move a wedding too close to its original date.
Clear umbrellas for everyone, or moving the ceremony indoors or under tents, are far better options than inconveniencing everyone with a sudden date change.
Not to mention, it’s cheaper to supply tents or umbrellas than it is to change all your vendors at the last second.
5. One singular person can’t make it—with some exceptions.
This depends partly on who it is, and why they can’t attend.
Again, if someone in the wedding party or very close to you is critically injured or ill, it’s understandable to move the wedding.
But sometimes, moving the wedding because of one individual isn’t possible. It’s too close, and would inconvenience far too many people.
Your college roommate missing her flight is a bummer, to be sure. It’s not worth rescheduling the wedding over, though. She’ll just have to celebrate twice as hard when she does arrive.
Your grandmother suffering a nasty fall? Yes: you can reschedule.
Only you can really make this decision, however. There’s nuance to this situation. Maybe your roommate is your best friend on this planet, and you can’t imagine getting married without her. And maybe you actually don’t care for your grandmother all that much (hey, no judgment; it happens).
The point is, there are exceptions. And only you know if moving the wedding because of one person makes sense or not.
6. You weren’t disciplined to save more money (but still can).
I know, I know! Earlier I said it was fine to postpone the wedding because your budget won’t allow it, or because of job loss, and now I’m saying you shouldn’t?
Hear me out, though: it’s all about timing and possibilities.
With months or a year to go, it’s fine to move your wedding even if you’ve already sent out invitations. But if it’s too close to the original date, you need to avoid moving the ceremony at any cost.
Yep, that includes your own budget.
Get serious about earning more, and ruthless about cutting non-essentials from the wedding list. Simply put, it’s not fair to put your guests out hundreds or thousands in travel expenses before you know, without a single doubt, you can’t make the money work.
It’s one thing to notice, way in advance, that you need to save more—and put in the effort to make it happen. It’s another entirely to spend, spend, spend when you should’ve been saving, and now there’s a month to go and your wedding account is too light.
Moving the wedding date is the easy way out. Keeping it right where it is forces you to buckle down, hustle and grind, and hold yourselves accountable.
Get serious. Get ruthless. Really push yourselves to see what you’re capable of.
Yes, You Can Reschedule Your Wedding—With Some Caveats
Truthfully, more important than your reason for changing your wedding date is whether or not you have enough time to do so.
Pushing back a wedding with months (or a year) left to go isn’t a big deal. Few things have been finalized, if anything. Guests haven’t made travel arrangements yet. And, even if they have, there’s enough time left to change them.
But postponing your wedding when it’s down to the wire is, with few exceptions, going to inconvenience many of your guests. It may even cost you hundreds or thousands in vendor fees and lost deposits.
At the end of the day, it’s entirely up to you and your fiancé. Only you know your unique situation, your reasons for rescheduling, and how it will or won’t impact your guests.
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Are you considering moving your wedding date? Share your reasons and challenges below!
