We’ve all been to a wedding that just seemed to drag on and on…and on.
Likewise, we’ve probably seen some whirlwind ceremonies that leave you asking, “That’s it?”
When planning your own wedding ceremony, however, you see how tough it is to strike that balance between “blink of an eye,” and “droning bore.”
What’s the sweet spot for how long a wedding ceremony should be? Sadly, there’s no singular answer—but there are plenty of tips to choose the right time length for yours.
Ideal Wedding Ceremony Length: Short and Sweet, or Just-Right Traditional
On the spectrum of wedding ceremony lengths, too quick and too long are not your only options. There are happy mediums near the middle of that scale, and it’s not just one or two options: it’s a range.
In the sweet spot of timeframes, you’ve got weddings that err on the side of short and sweet—a bit brief, lacking certain frills or traditions, but covering all the critical bases and a little bit more.
The benefit of these ceremonies is that they aren’t so short they feel rushed and sterile, lacking anything memorable—but they also don’t leave guests squirming in the pews or checking their watches.
Generally, short and sweet weddings fall in the “10-minute” territory. Some are a little less, but rarely at or below 5 minutes.
And anything past 15, and it’s erring toward just-right traditional.
“Just-right” traditional time lengths are ceremonies in the 20- to 30-minute range. This is about how long most weddings take, hence naming it “traditional”—it’s got nothing to do with the ceremony style itself. So no worries if you want a just-right, but off-beat wedding!
So, ultimately, 10 to 30 minutes is the ideal wedding ceremony time length. And for the most part, that’s a pretty broad window to work with!
But you might still find you’re a few minutes short, or a few (or a LOT) over your target. What can you do about it?
My Wedding Ceremony is Too Short — What Can I Add to It?
I mentioned earlier that too-short wedding ceremonies can feel rushed and sterile.
The reason for this is that super-fast weddings tend to exclude personalization, so that’s a great place to start if you want a longer ceremony.
Consider these additions that don’t just fill time, but will also add a deeper meaning and resonance to your wedding:
- The officiant sharing a story about you and your fiancé when you were first dating, how you met, the proposal, etc.
- Someone reading a poem or performing a song you both love.
- A unity ceremony, such as braiding rope or pouring sand, that symbolizes joining your lives together.
- A sermon or parable regarding love or marriage from your religion’s texts.
Don’t forget the actual ceremony details, either: song choice for your processional (or the bridesmaids’) can add a minute or two with ease. Some vows are longer than others, or certain officiants’ speaking styles.
5 Things to Cut from a Way Too-Long Wedding Ceremony
Occasionally, brides worry their ceremony is too long and will bore guests.
While I would always advise to not sweat it (no guests will complain, at least not out loud!), it’s understandable to want a few minutes trimmed, where possible, if things feel long-winded.
Of course, the problem with cutting anything from a ceremony is that you risk robbing it of its personalization, making it feel too minimalistic and generic.
So, start with the details that aren’t so personal. If you and your spouse don’t really want to share how you met, for example, ask your officiant to remove any stories of it from his or her plans.
Likewise, if you’ve included a poem or story that doesn’t actually mean all that much to you—axe it!
Ditto on personalized vows, if you and your spouse are very private people. You can always write them and exchange them before or after the ceremony, instead, and stick with pre-written, shorter vows.
Some other, slightly unusual ways to trim your ceremony for time:
- Double the pace of your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Instead of each pairing going down the aisle every 20 seconds in the processional, try 10 seconds—or even 5.
- Pick a faster-paced song for the processional (the party’s, or yours).
- Save poems, songs, or stories for wedding toasts at the reception.
- Ask your officiant for a shorter marriage reading. There are tons of options and customization opportunities available, and most officiants are pros at working with brides to find the ideal ceremony length.
My Ceremony is Long For Religious or Cultural Reasons—What Do I Cut?
Truthfully, I wouldn’t change a thing.
If your ceremony is on the long side because it incorporates traditions and details that are part of your religion or culture, it’s simply too hard (sometimes impossible) to cut elements without diluting its meaning.
That said, feel free to cut or shorten anything that isn’t all that important to you or your spouse.
A few years ago, I attended a traditional Catholic wedding ceremony. If you’ve ever been to one, you know these are not short and sweet! But they are rich with tradition, so none of the guests minded the long wait.
The couple did change a few elements, apparently—the priest read a shorter Bible passage than originally planned, and the prayer over the couple was fairly brief. But even then, the wedding still lasted almost an hour.
Again, no one minded one bit. Guest with babies who got fussy were able to leave the cathedral with ease; attendants were available to help. Elderly people had comfy chairs with easy aisle access.
All in all, it was a gorgeous and meaningful ceremony—and if yours is tied to your cultural or religious beliefs, your ceremony will be too. As long as you ensure your guests are comfortable, don’t worry about time.
I Have No Idea How Long My Ceremony Will Be!
If you aren’t sure if your ceremony will be too long or too short, don’t worry—you can at least get a ballpark.
Of course, the best way to know your ceremony’s true timeframe will be to base it off the rehearsal the day before. You simply can’t account for how fast or slow people will walk or speak, delays in music, or technical issues (mics not working, for example).
But in the meantime, you can make your best guess.
How long will it take to walk the aisle, roughly? Multiply that by your attendants (for example, 1 minute per walk times 5 bridesmaids and their groomsmen).
Don’t forget to add your processional, which should take about 1.5x or 2x as long as the rest of the attendants’—longer if you have flower girls or a ring bearer, especially if the children are very young and might take extra time getting to the altar.
You can also base your guess off your music choices, instead. I prefer this method, because the music dictates how quickly everyone will walk.
And for the ceremony itself, you can always ask your officiant for a rough idea of how long the version you’re going with will take.
Above All Else, Match Your Ceremony to Your Venue
I don’t mean decor-wise—once again, we’re talking about your guests’ comfort.
If you’re having an outdoor ceremony in July somewhere in the South? Keep your ceremony as short (and as shaded!) as you reasonably can. Not only will guests be grateful, but you’ll avoid bridesmaids fainting at the altar…or yourself!
On the other hand, an indoor wedding with powerful air conditioning can stand a longer ceremony.
If a lot of your guests will be standing, go shorter. If everyone’s got chairs—longer is fine.
Will lots of babies be in attendance? Do yourself and all those moms a favor, and keep things brief. But if you’re opting for a kid-free wedding, the sky’s the limit.
Similarly, you might match your venue to your ceremony: if you know in advance the wedding will run long for cultural reasons, or short due to personal preferences, you can select your ceremony site with that in mind.
Remember: No One Will Care About a Few Minutes More (or Less)
While all of these tips can help you find that “sweet spot” for your ceremony’s runtime, remember: this is your wedding. At the end of the day, you’re allowed to have it as long or as short as you and your future spouse want it to be!
For any ceremony, long or short (or anywhere in between), just make sure your guests are comfortable, your wedding party can stand up that long, and all the must-have elements you and your fiancé decide upon are included.
As long as you can check those boxes, it doesn’t really matter if your ceremony is a little too brief, or a little too long. It will be comfortable, memorable, and beautiful.
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What do you think the “ideal” ceremony length is? Have you been to rushed weddings, or any that truly dragged on?
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