When wedding planning stops being fun, brides start to feel stressed, sad—sometimes, even burned out.
And notice my word choice: when. Not if.
The simple fact is that wedding planning will not always be fun. For some brides, it’s stressful from the very beginning; they’re not in their element, planning an event of such magnitude. For others, it’s exciting in the early days, but soon gives way to headaches and anxiety.
Wedding Planning was Fun in the Beginning—Why Did It Stop?
Truthfully, wedding planning is the most fun right after your engagement, or whenever you first start gathering ideas. And it’s for the same reason anything is more exciting in the beginning.
Brainstorming and gathering ideas is the fun part. Researching, organizing, and executing them is the hard part.
You’ve probably been through this same cycle already, and didn’t even notice.
Think of every craft project you started but abandoned halfway. Or the late-night buzz of a new business idea, that falls gray and flat by the next morning.
Rest assured, everyone experiences this. Follow-through is hard. Taking something from the idea stage to reality is never easy—and it’s simply not as fun as brainstorming, when anything seems possible.
The difference is, you can’t walk away from this project! The wedding has to happen. Which means, possibly for the first time ever, you’re trudging through the “reality setting in,” executing-the-idea stage.
The good news: it’s worth it. And you will get excited again, and even have fun, when the worst of wedding planning is behind you.
Signs You’re Burning Out on Wedding Planning
Even though every bride experiences stress and boredom during wedding planning, some people reach an entirely different level: actual burnout.
Here are some signs you’re in need of a break from wedding planning:
- You’re losing sleep over vendor payments, invitation hiccups, and other wedding details.
- You’re getting sick more often than usual, or feel run-down in general.
- Constant arguments, wedding-related or not, have become the norm for you and your fiancé.
- You cry whenever you think about your wedding, or feel hopeless it will all come together in time.
- Anxiety or panic attacks have become a standard feature lately.
- You’ve started to avoid wedding planning altogether.
These are just a few signs of wedding burnout. Really, any negative and long-term emotions or symptoms that aren’t normal for you might be due to wedding planning stress.
They’re a signal from your body that you need to unplug and slow way down.
21 Fixes To Make Planning Your Wedding Fun and Exciting Again
Fortunately, there are solutions to downsize stress and make wedding planning fun again.
Maybe not quite as fun as it was in the beginning (before you had budgets, quarreling bridesmaids, or vendors to worry about)—but better.
1. Pull in a new person to help you plan.
By “new,” this doesn’t mean some random stranger. Just any person who might want to help you, but hasn’t been involved much yet.
Bridesmaids, future family-in-law, coworkers: comb your list for anyone who hasn’t gotten their hands dirty with the details yet, but who you think would enjoy helping with the wedding.
They don’t have to help directly, either. Simply discussing your wedding with a person who hasn’t heard your plans yet can reignite your excitement.
2. Scrap whatever idea is stressing you out the most.
At my wedding, I desperately wanted a photo booth. A real one, the kind you see at malls and arcades, where guests could print cute photo strips to keep as a keepsake.
Unfortunately, it came with an enormous price tag for our budget. And finding a vendor who could deliver that rental 50-plus miles to the venue proved way harder than I thought.
After some lost sleep and a lot of budget stress, I nixed the photo booth idea altogether.
Why? Because it just wasn’t worth all the energy and peace it was stealing from me. We opted for a cute backdrop and just had guests take their photos with phones, using a tripod from Walmart. Not as cute, but still a hit.
If there’s an element of your wedding planning that’s stressing you out too much (relative to its true importance), get rid of it. Or modify it. Whatever it takes to cross that item off your checklist.
This won’t solve all your wedding stress—not even close. But it’ll be one less thing to worry about, and give you a sense of control again.
3. Host a pre-wedding party (even if you already had one).
Inviting friends and family over for an engagement party, stock the bar event, or wedding craft night can regenerate some of your planning excitement.
If you’ve already had every pre-wedding event under the sun, consider a regular get-together. Talk will inevitably turn to your wedding plans, and chatting about it will let you vent frustrations and focus on some fun details.
Either way, keep it small and simple. The last thing you need is another big to-do added to your ever-growing list.
4. Get organized with a wedding planning binder or checklist.
Speaking of lists—if you don’t have one, get one.
The number one complaint I hear from burned-out brides, besides wedding budget stress, is feeling disorganized. There’s just so much to do, and keeping it all straight feels impossible.
The antidote to fear is knowledge. This means the more anxious or stressed you are about wedding planning, the more organized and thorough you need to be.
It’s a lot like creating a budget, or finally opening a big stack of bills. It gets harder before it gets better. But it does, in fact, get better.
You can make your own wedding organizer, or download a free template and customize it as needed. Even a simple checklist is better than nothing.
Getting organized with wedding planning will make it less stressful, and automatically infuse some fun back into the process.
5. Hire a coordinator, even just for the wedding day.
I know: it hurts to read even one more thing that’s going to cost you money! Wedding planning is a master course in getting nickeled and dimed. But I promise, this suggestion is worth consideration.
A day-of coordinator is like the stage manager of your wedding.
I’ve said before a wedding is a party and not a performance; therefore, you don’t need to stress about everything being perfect. And that’s still true.
But the fact remains that weddings and receptions do have cues, timelines, and crucial details to pull off. Just like plays and performances.
Hiring a coordinator who can track those elements for you—and put out tiny fires and hiccups as they arise—takes the burden off your shoulders, so you can focus on what matters: getting married.
The best leaders know when to delegate. As the leader of your wedding party, don’t be afraid to pass this task onto a professional if it gives you peace of mind. That alone is worth the extra money.
6. Grab brunch with your bridesmaids.
You really can’t go wrong with this one. Whether you and your girls talk about your wedding plans or decide to unplug and ban all wedding chatter for the day, you’ll walk away from brunch feeling relaxed and reinvigorated about your wedding.
Gather the girls for a brunch or luncheon. Make sure they know it’s not mandatory, however—a lot of bridesmaids love these events, but can’t swing it financially if there’s a lot of other pre-wedding gatherings already.
7. Daydream and plan for after your wedding, too.
It’s all too easy to get so caught up in wedding planning, we forget there’s going to be a “day after the wedding.”
And another.
An entire lifetime of plans, challenges, and excitement with our new spouse.
When planning your wedding feels too overwhelming, step back and think about why you’re doing this. The end goal is to simply be married. To start a life together. And looking ahead to that life can help you push through the stress and headaches of the wedding itself.
It’s a bit like exercise. Few people enjoy the exercise part; we do it for the rewards of feeling and looking better.
Wedding planning is almost never stress-free. But focus on the reward—the end result of all this time and money you’re investing. Think of the house you two might purchase, the pets or children you’ll have, and the adventures you’ll have in the coming years.
8. Focus on your nutrition and overall health.
Speaking of exercise: do some! And dive into your eating habits, supplements, and sleep schedule too.
Burnout and stress sap your body and brain of critical resources. Low vitamins and minerals, too-low calories from wedding diets, and sleep deprivation from stress or a busy schedule take their toll in ways we might not even suspect.
Incorporate more whole foods into your diet, even if it’s by way of smoothies instead of meals. Stack stress-fighting supplements like magnesium or greens blends (of course, ask your doctor to advise on your new regimen).
And if you’re dieting to lose weight before the wedding, make sure you’re taking in at least 1,200 calories per day.
Research has proven this is the amount needed to get all required nutrients. You’ll still be running a calorie deficit, especially if you’re exercising, so the weight will continue to drop—but you’ll feel much better than over-restricting.
As for sleep, set some ground rules for yourself. Install app blockers that turn off distractions an hour before bedtime. Adopt the habit of reading instead of watching TV or surfing the internet. And consider a new ritual of herbal tea or magnesium drink mix before bed, to help you relax.
9. Do only one wedding-related task per day, at least for now.
When a project becomes overwhelming and wears us down, it’s tempting to either dive all-in and get it over with…or stop working on it altogether.
Both options lead to more stress down the line.
Instead, give yourself the best of both: aim to accomplish just one wedding task a day.
This provides a break from the constant wedding hustle, but with the comfort of knowing you’re still making progress.
Your Daily Wedding Task could be anything from vendor phone calls, to addressing a certain number of invitations. You can also set a timer instead, and promise yourself you’ll stop when it’s up—30 minutes to an hour is enough to accomplish key tasks, without stressing you out too much.
And no, it doesn’t have to be like this forever. It probably can’t, in fact: the month of your wedding will require lots of last-minute tasks you can’t stretch out like that.
But for now at least, this pace will combat burnout and anxiety. You might even start to look forward to wedding planning again, knowing it’s not taking over your life—but rather compartmentalized in a neat little window of time.
10. Devote more time and energy to the wedding tasks you do enjoy.
Obviously, there are some wedding planning tasks no bride likes doing.
Researching vendors grows boring and confusing. Calculating postage costs for invitations is a blood pressure elevator.
These things do have to get done, of course. But try to simplify them, delegate them, or just make a decision quickly so you can move on.
Some examples of “let it flow and check it off asap” tasks:
- If you overbuy on stamps a little bit, it’s okay. You’ll use them later. My wedding stamp overflow lasted us for years!
- Stop comparison-shopping once you find a vendor you like in your price range. It’s tempting to hunt the “best deal,” but sometimes the best deal is the one you’ve already got squared away.
- Let the people around you help, especially if it’s part of their role. Typically, mothers of the groom pay for and plan the rehearsal dinner. Bridesmaids handle the bachelorette. If your loved ones say they’ve got X or Y under control, let them.
By refusing to spend too long on small or stressful tasks, or ones outside your jurisdiction, you free up more time for the parts you love.
Maybe you’re into DIY and love the idea of crafting your own wedding and reception signs. Or you have a choreographed first dance to arrange and practice.
Find where the fun is. Whatever elements you love best should be your focus, whenever possible. The rest will feel easier too, knowing there’s always a more exciting gear you can switch to later.
11. Help another bride with her wedding.
My friends and I frequently joke that we love cleaning each other’s houses when we stay the night or visit for a weekend. “Wish I liked cleaning my own house this much!” We’d have sparkling homes 24-7.
It’s true, though: helping each other, and working on something that isn’t ours—it’s way more fun. Our motivation is higher because it’s a less familiar home.
Similarly, helping another bride-to-be plan her wedding can help you enjoy the process again.
It’s fun to dig into the details of another wedding. What drinks is she serving? Is her wedding aesthetic similar to yours, or the complete opposite in every way?
What’s more, she’s likely to return the favor. Having a fresh set of eyes and ideas can stoke your motivation and excitement too.
Grab lunch and hash out the details, or take turns hosting a “checklist sprint,” where you both help the other one knock out as many tasks as possible.
12. Have a good vent session, online or in-person.
Grab a close friend, sister, bridesmaid—anyone you consistently vent to about other life problems. Ask if they’d mind letting you word-vomit about the wedding for a while.
You can ask them for advice, or just tell them you need an ear to bend.
Alternatively, bridal forums and social media groups can provide a safe place where you can post your frustrations freely (and anonymously, if preferred).
This is especially helpful if friends and family don’t seem to relate to what you’re going through right now, since other brides will absolutely understand.
All that matters is that you get the worries and headaches out there, in writing or words. You’ll feel 100x lighter. That alone can make wedding planning fun again.
13. Take a vacation, or at least go into hermit mode for a weekend.
My go-to solution for malfunctioning technology: turn it off and then turn it back on.
Humans tend to be the same way.
Unplugging from not just wedding planning, but “real life” in general, can provide a wonderful respite that gets our headspace and physical selves right again.
Wedding planning resets don’t have to take a lot of time or money, either. A quick trip to the mountains, a budget motel near some water, or even just a cozy movie weekend at home can be enough.
Whatever you choose, forbid yourself from talking about or working on the wedding.
And every time you have a wedding thought, jot it down for Monday and remind yourself, “It can wait.” You’re in the middle of a reset, and that’s far more important.
14. Tie rewards to your wedding errands.
In college, my suitemates and I would frequently have “M&M and movie sessions.” We’d study together in a big, cozy pile of pillows and blankets on the floor, with a bowl of M&Ms between us and a movie on pause.
Every time we finished a page of a paper, or studied a new section in a textbook, we’d eat some candy. And once every 30 minutes, a timer would ding. We’d unpause the movie we were watching and take a break for ten minutes.
It wasn’t the fastest system, of course. And sometimes, we had no choice but to cloister ourselves alone in a library study cubicle, no candy and movies in sight.
But for most nights, it got us through the slog.
You can do a similar rewards system with wedding tasks and errands. Allow yourself to visit Starbucks after you accomplish a certain number of tasks each Saturday. Or buy yourself a nice bottle of wine to enjoy after you address X amount of invitations.
15. Delegate some tasks to your fiancé.
There’s an all-too-true meme that says you can plan a wedding without doing any work at all.
The secret: be the groom.
Funny, yes—but also infuriating that this is so universal!
While most husbands-to-be do in fact help, it’s no secret the bride still carries most of the mental burden of wedding planning.
Tell your fiancé the truth: that you’re overwhelmed and trying to do too much on your own. You need him to shoulder some of the responsibilities.
My then-fiancé, now-husband has horrible handwriting, so he couldn’t help me address wedding invitations. He could, however, gather the addresses for the 100+ households on our guest list.
Your fiancé has his own strengths and weaknesses too, so only you can decide what to delegate. Go through your wedding checklist together and see what jumps out at him as doable, or even fun.
If your personalities are pretty different, you might get lucky: he’ll be excited to take over all the tasks you dread most!
16. Have a “wedding movie night” with your friends, or on your own.
Consuming content about a subject can get you more interested in, and excited about, that topic.
This includes budgeting documentaries for finances, cookbooks for new home chefs, etc. Wedding movies and shows can do the same for brides!
There’s no shortage of wedding rom-coms out there, and reality shows like Say Yes to the Dress. Watching other brides—fictional or real-life—prepare for their own ceremonies and receptions can relax you, give you some laughs, and stoke the wedding-planning excitement again.
17. Apply the 80-20 principle to your wedding to-do list (a.k.a, simplify).
Also known as Pareto’s Principle, the 80-20 rule is the notion that about 20% of our efforts yield 80% of our results.
For example, most of our productivity at work comes from one-fifth of the tasks we accomplish. The rest is often mindless email, piddly tasks, and endless meetings.
Similarly, the majority of weight loss comes from watching what we eat, and exercising. Supplements, body wraps, and hacks help only minimally, if at all.
Likewise, the majority of a “successful” wedding is attributed to only a handful of tasks on our part.
At its core, a successful wedding simply means you got married, and your guests had a great time celebrating.
To accomplish that, you need a venue, a caterer, drinks (alcoholic or otherwise), music, an officiant, and some paperwork.
Check those items off your list first. Pour more time and energy into those than the smaller, stressful tasks and details.
Next, move to the other must-haves that are just as important, but require less intense research or deposits on your part: invitations, your wedding attire, registry, etc.
This 80-20 rule also works within individual tasks. If finding coordinated envelopes and wax seals for your invitations is too stressful, nix the idea (people throw out the envelopes, anyway). The important part is that they inform your guests, not how they look.
You can still add extra touches and deep-dive into certain tasks, if you want to. But culling your wedding planning to-do list down to the essentials, first, will make it feel much more manageable.
18. Think of something personal you can add to your wedding decor or day-of timeline.
While this sounds counterintuitive to the 80-20 rule mentioned above, picking one task to do a deep-dive into—really adding your personal stamp—can make wedding planning more fun again.
A wedding logo on your signs, a choreographed first dance, or a hidden detail somewhere from a movie you and your fiancé love? There’s no limit to the personalized touches you can add.
Making your wedding more “you” takes some of the boring, repetitive feeling away. It can get you excited again, focusing on a fun detail that showcases who you both are.
19. Shop for your bridesmaids’ gifts.
The best way to forget our troubles is to serve others. Focusing on other people, even for a few minutes a day, reminds us how lucky we are to have those people in our lives—and serves as a nice distraction from our own stressors.
Poke around online or in local boutiques for your bridesmaids’ gifts. They don’t have to match—in fact, personal options for each of your girls can be even better!
Consider it an active gratitude exercise: you’ll be so focused on how to show your bridesmaids you’re thankful for all they’ve done, the wedding stress will start melting away.
Not only that, but it lets you look forward to the future: giving your girls their presents the morning of your wedding, when the worst of planning is behind you.
20. Revive some of your old wedding planning text threads and Pinterest boards.
Sometimes, the most effective way to recapture the fun of those early wedding-planning days is to take yourself back there.
Scroll through all the group boards you and your bridesmaids created when you first got engaged. Start adding pins again, now with the mindset of “this will work with our time, budget, and venue” instead of the “anything goes” mindset you had before.
Similarly, scrolling through or reviving old text threads with your wedding party can stoke the embers again. You can relive the excitement of telling people you got engaged, or brainstorm some new ideas with your best friends.
21. If you truly dread the wedding day, consider eloping instead.
I don’t know a single bride, myself included, that didn’t consider elopement at least once during her wedding planning.
After all, planning your wedding is one of the most expensive and stressful projects you’ll ever undertake. So rest assured, daydreaming about ditching it is normal!
But if the idea keeps coming back to you, and you find yourself truly despising the wedding planning process…maybe there’s something to this elopement thing. It might be the better fit for you, after all.
Signs you should elope instead of having a wedding include:
- Wedding planning is no longer any fun, ever. Maybe it never was.
- The mere thought of a traditional wedding makes you feel sick.
- You hate big crowds, and love the idea of small and intimate ceremony.
- You don’t care about the “wedding” part, per se. You just want to get married.
- The idea of eloping brings you peace, not stress.
And remember: you can always have a big reception later on, too, if the idea of not celebrating with family and friends still bothers you.
For more help with non-traditional wedding options, check out these posts:
- Elopement: What to Say and Do When People Are Made You’re Eloping
- Reception-Only Weddings: Can I Skip the Ceremony and Just Have a Reception?
Embrace Some Stress, But Seek the Fun of Wedding Planning Again
Stress is inevitable during wedding plans. I hate to be the bearer of that bad news, but it’s true. Even brides who hire out every aspect of planning feel that overwhelm begin, at some point.
But planning your wedding can be fun again—you just have to seek it out and get creative. Focus on the elements you love most, and hire out or delegate what you don’t whenever possible.
Alternatively, you can nix whatever stressors just aren’t worth it: have a dry reception if your guest lists includes too many heavy drinkers, and you’re worried about how they’ll behave. Ditch the big ceremony for a private one if you get stage fright in front of crowds.
Get organized with wedding planning, using a binder or checklist. Laying it all out is scary at first, but that knowledge will help you break the planning down into easier, more manageable pieces.
Lastly: take a break from planning your wedding altogether. Quite often, all we need to make something fun again is to step away, reset, and reassess.
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