Every newly engaged bride has a few days or weeks of absolute bliss: that heady “just proposed to” feeling, combined with the fun of defining her dream wedding.
Then the actual planning—and reality—sets in. Namely, the price tags attached to all our must-have, oh-so-perfect wedding wishes.
If you can’t afford your dream wedding, you have 4 options to obtain it:
- Option 1: Increase your income.
- Option 2: Decrease your wedding expenses.
- Option 3: Practice contentment.
- Option 4: Ideally, do all of the above.
Individually, these all help—but combining them (Option 4) is the real key to getting as close to your perfect wedding as you possibly can.
Option 1 to Afford Your Dream Wedding: Increase Your Income
I know, I know: easier said than done! But also not quite as difficult as you might think.
We’re not talking about doubling or tripling your annual salary, here. Just adding a few hundred a month, so you can better pad the Wedding Fund and afford your must-have elements.
Side hustles are many brides’ best option for earning a little extra towards the wedding. Your groom can get one too, so that you’re both attacking the problem together and doubling your efforts.
Gig platforms are the fastest route, while starting your own business can be the most lucrative (but take some time to get going).
Whether you go with Uber Eats, an Etsy store, or just walking neighborhood dogs on your lunch break—put every extra dime you earn towards the wedding.
You can also explore options to increase your actual salary. If it’s been more than a few years at your current employer, job-hopping might yield a much larger pay increase than asking for a raise.
Of course, this depends on your field and local job market. It’s also possible you’re capped out at your current profession, earning the highest you can already, and staying put makes far more sense.
Maybe, instead, you can pick up extra shifts at your current employer for time-and-a-half pay.
The point is to look for any and all opportunities to generate more cash. Overtime, new jobs, side hustles, your own business: there’s a wealth—pun intended—of work out there, and every single cent gets you closer and closer to being able to afford your dream wedding.
If you’re all about that hustle, check out my plan for saving $20k for your wedding in just six months.
Option 2: Decrease Your Wedding Expenses.
Yes, this is a tough pill to swallow—especially when you’re here to learn how you can have your dream wedding, not make compromises.
But sometimes the path to getting what we want doesn’t rise to meet us, and we have to slog through some rough patches and accept the path we’re on, rather than the one we want.
In your case, that might mean trimming the wedding down a little.
For example: if you want a destination wedding somewhere tropical, but currently have 200 guests on your list? That’s not going to be easy to reach. In some situations, downright impossible.
Weigh what you truly want, here. Is it a high-inclusion wedding, filled with every single person on that list? If so, explore more local beaches and resorts.
But, if that original location is the venue and backdrop of your dreams…you might decide to cut 100 of those distant family members, former coworkers, and college buddies you haven’t seen in a decade.
While venue and guest count are the largest expenses—decreasing those will make the biggest dent in your budget—you can also find smaller line items to trim that really add up.
Catering costs, your dress and its alterations, even things like linen and chair rentals: getting those down by $50 here and there will help.
If your wedding expenses are getting too wild to handle—or you don’t have a wedding budget at all yet—here are 34 fixes when your wedding budget spirals out of control.
Option 2B: Cut your household budget, instead (or additionally).
The wedding isn’t your only outgoing expense, here. Your household budget can be temporarily cut way down for the next year or so, to help you save more for the wedding.
Here are some admittedly tough budget cuts to make, but ones that will help immensely. And remember, they can be temporary!
- Get roommates to cut housing costs.
- Start meal-planning to purchase groceries, instead of going out or ordering restaurant meals and fast food.
- Implement a “spending freeze” for a month. Other than bills, groceries, and true essentials, you don’t allow yourself to purchase anything for a month. All the money you save goes to the wedding fund.
- Similarly, try a “pantry week.” Instead of getting more groceries, eat through everything you already have. (Yes, the combinations get weird…but it’s cheap and kind of fun!)
- Carpool with a coworker or your fiancé for a while.
- More extreme (but all the better for saving money): sell your car and share one with your future spouse, or utilize bicycles and public transportation. Ditching the car payment—not to mention gas, taxes, and insurance—will help the wedding budget considerably.
Option 3: Practice Contentment + Learn to Love the Wedding You Have.
Besides increasing income and decreasing expenses, you can (and should) practice gratitude and contentment for what you can currently afford in a wedding.
Yes, the extra touches like food trucks or fabulous destinations are so tempting—and it’s really hard to be grateful for less glamorous options when we know what we could have, if only the cards in our hand were a little (or a lot) better.
But a funny thing happens when you embrace what you do have: it starts to look better and better.
Gratitude is often a “fake it till you make it” kind of thing. The more you act content with what you have, the more content you’ll actually feel as time goes on.
Every day, write down 3 things you’re happy about with your wedding. They can be repeats now and then, but try to mix it up as much as possible.
Yes, writing “I’m grateful my seamstress made my dress fit perfectly” isn’t going to magically make you thrilled you couldn’t get your dream dress instead of something cheaper.
But it will make you appreciate the dress you do have a little more, each and every day.
Option 4: Do All Of the Above!
Ideally, you’ll implement all of these strategies in some form while planning and saving for your wedding.
More money, fewer expenses, and a heart of gratitude will form an incredible trifecta, and something amazing will happen:
Suddenly, you will have your dream wedding.
Yes, it might be different than what you originally daydreamed. It might be missing some elements, big or small, that you really wish you could’ve afforded.
But even better than a dream wedding is a real, affordable wedding, unfolding right in front of you.
At the End of the Day, No One Can Really Have a “Dream” Wedding
“Dream weddings” are a bit of an unattainable goal.
Simply put, no one can get exactly what they want, no matter how much money they spend. Weather changes. Guests decline. Drama unfolds between family or wedding party members.
And, even for those brides who get every item on their Wish List—they usually wind up with one thing they definitely didn’t dream about: a hefty bill, when all is said and done.
So instead of chasing that lofty (perhaps impossible) goal of a dream wedding, aim for “dream elements.”
Think of the most important things to you in your wedding plan. Then increase income, decrease other costs, and practice gratitude along the way until you get all—or at least most—of what you really want: the heart of your ideal wedding, stripped of some extras and the pressure to be perfect.
The rest will fall into place, or become less important as the date draws near.
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Can’t afford your “dream wedding,” and struggling on where to compromise? Share your biggest hurdles in the comments!
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