The vows are exchanged. That gorgeous ring is on your finger, and you’ve finally ridden off into the sunset with your soulmate. Your wedding was indeed the happiest day of your life.
So why do you feel so miserable now that it’s over?
If you’re feeling sad after your wedding ends, you aren’t alone. According to one study, almost 12% of brides reported depressive symptoms six months after their weddings.
So yes, it’s normal to feel sad when your wedding is over. Incredibly normal, in fact, whether you’re a little bummed out, or crying your eyes out in the shower. And you might not even understand why.
The good news is, you can beat this! Here are 11 tips to fight off that sadness after your wedding ends.
Note: this is not clinical advice, and I’m not a doctor. Any use of the word “depressed,” “depressive,” or similar language is referring to sadness, not clinical depression — which should only be diagnosed and treated by a medical professional.
11 Ways to Stop Feeling Depressed Your Wedding Is Over
1. Get your hands on some wedding photos to relive the day.
Nothing helps tamp post-wedding blues like reliving all those little, wonderful moments.
And very likely, they passed in such a huge blur, part of your sadness isn’t that the wedding is over — just how quickly it seemed to happen!
Ask your photographer for a preview of your wedding photos, if they haven’t provided one already. Most professionals will send you a handful of great shots by the end of the night or the next morning.
That said, be patient: it’s a lot of work for your photographer to peruse thousands of photos, choose the best of the best, and finalize them. If they give you a timeline of a few days, don’t text them until it passes (especially if they’re a one-person business, doing it all themselves).
If you didn’t have a wedding photographer, opting for DIY options instead, you can access photos more quickly.
Search your wedding hashtag on social media, if you had one, to see all the photos guests posted during the day.
You can also search by your venue location, or just scroll your feed for any untagged ones that slipped past.
Wherever your photos are, and whether they’re professional photography shots or cell phone candids, looking at them after the wedding is over can help you feel grounded after such a whirlwind weekend.
2. Talk your post-wedding sadness over with your new spouse.
This might actually be the Number One way to stop being sad when your wedding is over, but it’ll depend on your spouse’s personality and their level of involvement in the wedding.
It’s not uncommon for one partner to have played a much bigger role in planning and executing the big day. And chances are, if you’re the one feeling sad, that partner was you.
Still, that doesn’t mean your new spouse isn’t feeling similar sadness it’s over too. Talk to them about how you’re doing, and check in with them as well.
Not only is it nice to know you aren’t alone, but the two of you can share your favorite memories from the wedding and reception — they might even remember some things you completely missed, or vice-versa.
Even if your spouse doesn’t feel the way you do (they might just be relieved it’s all done with), they can and should offer support other people simply can’t.
3. Find a “new project” similar to wedding planning.
Planning a wedding can honestly be as grueling as a second job. Even small, simple ones can eat into your free time for weeks.
While you might be relieved at all your regained free time from the last year of wedding planning, it’s likely you’ll miss the structure it provided, too.
Wedding planning is tiring, but it’s also very fun. There are clear goals, measurable progress, and an endless stream of resources to learn new information along the way.
If you miss the fun of planning your wedding, see if you can pinpoint what you loved most about it.
Was it the structure it provided your day? If so, that may be a sign your current, “normal” schedule is lacking somehow — maybe you’re a stay-at-home mom whose regular routine is dominated by little ones, or working from home with too-flexible hours.
If what you miss most about planning is the excitement of learning and doing new things, you may not really be sad about the wedding. Instead, it could be a sign you’re looking to extend your education.
This could mean going back to school for a degree, changing careers, starting your own business, or launching a side hustle.
Another possibility is that wedding planning filled a gap in your time you already had with something that felt productive, and you miss that feeling.
If that’s the case, explore some new hobbies that can provide the same sense of accomplishment. Knitting or crocheting, reading, sewing, cooking — there are lots of ways to fill that void in your free time, instead of feeling like you’re wasting those hours.
Finally, it’s possible you truly loved wedding planning entirely on its own. Entering that world of venues, flowers, dresses, and planning spoke to your soul in a way nothing else has before!
Becoming a wedding planner might be your true calling. Other parts of the industry can appeal to you too — floral, photography, dresses, or blogging about weddings might all fit you like a glove, either as an eventual career, or fun side hustle.
Whatever you loved most about wedding planning, try to recreate that with a new endeavor. Your journey from engagement to “I Do” was undoubtedly full of learning new things about yourself, so why not put them to use?
4. Focus on the next milestone (but not too much)!
Similar to wedding planning having the fun of clear and measurable goals, the excitement of your engagement was that steady march toward a big life milestone: marriage.
Hitting life milestones is thrilling, of course, but can also leave us feeling a bit stranded. We’re left wondering, “Well…what now?”
The good news: you still have plenty of milestones ahead!
Moving in together, buying your first house (or upgrading to a better one), having children — all of these are just as exciting things to look forward to.
Think about the next stage you and your new spouse are entering.
Give yourself the freedom to daydream about it: browse Zillow for houses, declutter your newly-merged lives, or even save some nursery ideas to a secret Pinterest board, if the mood strikes.
A word of caution, however: don’t skip ahead and wish this stage of your life, being newlyweds, away.
We all know someone who went straight from wedding to baby, or wedding to house, sometimes before they seemed truly ready to have kids or buy a home.
While there’s nothing wrong with things moving quickly (you can’t always choose when milestones occur, after all), exercise caution before jumping straight into The Next Big Thing in your life.
This current season of your life, while challenging, is one you’re meant to look back on fondly.
Being newlyweds might not feel as exciting as “engaged,” but it’s filled with so much more freedom to dream and plan without the pressure of a wedding deadline.
You get to know each other as spouses, finally spending quality time together after such a hectic year.
Even if you’ve already lived together or had kids before you were married, that commitment you just made will change things.
It’s more than a piece of paper — there’s a gravity to your bond that wasn’t there before, and the first few months or year of being married will deepen that connection.
So look forward to the future, of course, especially if it helps you not feel as sad about the wedding being over.
But don’t wish away this season of life, either — it’s a milestone all its own.
5. Plan a small honeymoon or staycation to distract yourself from feeling sad after the wedding.
We couldn’t afford a honeymoon, though I wish we had.
Like the previous tip said, this season of your life together as newlyweds is important and worth cherishing — and taking a trip together kicks it off right.
No work, no distractions, just a few days to decompress and enjoy each other.
Even if you and your spouse decided against this tradition, whether due to time or budget constraints, or even because you just didn’t want to, it might be worth revisiting now that you’ve got post-wedding blues.
Just a few days in a resort, camping, or hitting the open road and finding cheap hotels can clear your minds from the chaos of the last year.
You’ll get a much-needed break from the world, focusing only on each other and the new adventure unfolding before you.
Any money you received from wedding gifts can go towards a trip, however brief or close by.
While fancy honeymoons are certainly desirable, simple and inexpensive ones still accomplish the one and only goal: to spend time together.
6. Journal it out.
Writing out your feelings can feel daunting if you aren’t used to journaling. You might feel so overwhelmed, you don’t even know how to start.
But the best part about journaling? There’s no wrong way to do it.
Open up a document on your phone, or grab a scrap of paper and pen. Then just start with the truth: “I feel sad my wedding is over.”
You can follow it up with “because” and list your reasons, if you know them. But it’s also fine to have no idea why you’re sad.
Write about that, too! List all the reasons you thought you’d be relieved the wedding has ended, instead of sad.
You might end up with a long-winded vent, perfectly detailed and thorough. Or you might end up with a page filled with repetitive, rambling nonsense only you can (sort of) make out.
Either way, you accomplished the point of journaling: to get it all out of you and somewhere else.
Words are powerful. They can distill our feelings and extract them from our minds, or at least lessen the burden of keeping everything inside.
7. Post on bridal and wedding forums.
Much like journaling, writing a post about how you feel and sharing it can ease some of the sadness you feel about your wedding ending.
While it would feel pretty vulnerable to share those feelings with your regular feed, posting your “journal entry” (that is what it is, after all) to a bridal or wedding forum can get your words in front of the people most likely to understand and sympathize.
Other brides feel what you’re feeling. Post-wedding sadness is normal, and very common.
Getting your thoughts out there will not only garner some connection and reassurance, but it might even give you some new ideas on how to break the post-wedding blues.
9. Get brunch with your bridesmaids.
Another reason you might feel depressed your wedding is over: you miss your girls!
Wedding planning bakes in tons of social interaction. Between the group thread with your wedding party, pre-wedding events like the bachelorette or bridal shower, and shared Pinterest boards full of ideas, chances are you spent a lot of time this past year talking to and hanging out with these women.
Now that the wedding is over, that social interaction has lessened considerably.
Some of it is inevitable, of course — you don’t have as much shared items on your to-do lists anymore.
And your bridesmaids do have to get back to their normal lives, as do you.
However, that doesn’t mean the fun is over. And it shouldn’t be!
If these women meant enough before the wedding to stand up beside you on the big day, they should still mean enough to stand beside you for the rest of your life too, and vice-versa.
Text the old bridesmaids group chat and say, “Missing everyone — I need to catch up on your lives after so much wedding talk! Brunch this weekend?”
Reconnecting with your wedding party will remind you of all the fun your group had during wedding planning.
(Unless you had a bridesmaid you had to kick out, or came close to doing so, in which case things might feel bittersweet for a while.)
Take some time to relive the wedding by sharing pictures and memories, but don’t forget to take a minute and ask your bridesmaids how they’ve been doing, too.
Getting updates on their lives outside of the wedding will also help you focus more on your life outside the wedding.
10. Work on post-wedding errands (yes, including the dreaded thank-you cards).
Look, we all hate the thank-you cards.
They’re just daunting. 100+ people, 50+ gifts and checks and gift cards — how are we supposed to remember all that, much less craft a meaningful thank-you letter to each person?
But the beauty of writing your wedding thank-you cards is that it allows you to relive your day, and many of the days that led up to it.
It also lets you look forward to the future, when you and your spouse will utilize those gifts.
Last, it makes you practice gratitude — a guaranteed way to increase happiness.
Calculate how many cards you’ll need, then divide that by however many days or weeks you’re giving yourself to get it done.
It’s not entirely true that you have up to a year to send your wedding thank-you’s. Rather, that’s for the guests to send their gift. So it’s more like you don’t “have” a year—you’re locked in for a year!
Etiquette experts say within three months of receiving the gift, or three months post-wedding, is ideal.
Plus, if you wait too long, you’ll be more likely to forget who sent what, or to just ditch the idea altogether.
Spend a few minutes each day writing your cards. You can even simplify them with some wedding thank-you card templates and examples.
By the time you finish all your cards, it’s likely you’ll have taken on a new project or life milestone. The post-wedding sadness will have started to ebb.
Other Post-Wedding Tasks You Can Do:
These include returning doubles from your registry, selling or preserving your wedding dress, and — the most fun errand of all — choosing and printing which of your wedding photos to display in your home.
Sometimes we’re sad the wedding is over because our to-do list (though ever-growing and annoying during our engagement) has suddenly vanished.
But the truth is, there’s still plenty left to do for your wedding! Most of it just centers on thanking your guests, reconnecting with your girls, and preserving your memories.
11. Let yourself be sad the wedding is over.
Simply put, don’t fight it.
It’s normal to be sad your wedding has ended. You’ve looked forward to this day for a long time – years in the abstract sense, and months in the actual — and now, in the blink of an eye, it’s over.
But these feelings make us feel conflicted. Shouldn’t we be relieved the stress is over? Shouldn’t we be over the moon we’re with the one we love?
Truthfully, you still feel those things (or at least, you will later). The sadness is just overshadowing them for now, and that’s okay.
First, pinpoint why you’re sad. The lack of structure? Everything feeling like it ended too quickly?
There’s no wrong answer here.
You might be sad due to disappointment: drama ensuing, bad weather, or something else going wrong. If so, you’ll feel cheated out of the day you deserved.
Or maybe everything went perfectly, exactly how you imagined, and you just wish it wasn’t over.
Yes, a wedding is just one day, but it’s a big one. And to have it end so abruptly, after so much dreaming and planning, can feel like a shock to your system.
For me, it was the realization that everyone we loved, and who loved us, would never again be in the same room.
Sure, some groups would. And we could certainly throw an anniversary party someday, and invite all the same guests — but more than likely, a few people wouldn’t be able to make it. Some of our older guests would no longer be with us, either.
It was a heartbreaking realization. I had to remind myself daily to be glad it happened, rather than sad it was over.
But first, I let myself be sad about it. I let myself cry, even when it felt silly to do so.
No matter why you’re sad the wedding has ended, that sadness is valid. Let yourself feel it.
Don’t Fight Wedding Blues: Let Yourself Be Sad For a While
You can’t bottle up your post-wedding sadness, and you shouldn’t!
It’s normal to feel sad when your wedding is over. Planning it provided you a unique, fun experience. It gave your engagement an excitement and structure you might not have in your normal life.
You were spending tons of time with friends and family. You got to daydream about this big life event 24-7, and then suddenly…it was over.
Honestly, you might even be bummed simply because you miss that special feeling: being the center of attention for a day.
That’s okay too! Most of us enjoy the spotlight of being a bride, even if we’re not fond of attention normally.
Overall, the “why” of your post-wedding sadness doesn’t matter, except to help you get over it.
All that really matters is that you acknowledge it, give yourself some guilt-free time to truly feel it — and then look ahead to your future after “I do.”
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How are you fighting post-wedding blues? Share your ideas in the comments!
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